Mahendranagar 16 Feb, Thursday
Like many factors leading to psychological disorders, childhood treatment also plays a very crucial role in how a child forms as an individual. Do we ever closely perceive people around us, some have a playful way of tackling problems, and some freak out in mini incidents. Even the siblings from same parents reveal different traits in handling situations.
Individuals who get dead serious regarding any activity and have a special concern about others are often the children who were not able to get enough attention, love, and security during their childhood. One who has an easy approach towards situations and is not concerned more about others is usually the child who has received enough attention, love, and security.
Surfacially, it might look quite a different approach but it is relevant and practical. When I see a workaholic or people mad for achieving something, somewhere I see an unnoticed and unappreciated child who is still running to get some attention. When I see someone feeling guilty to commit mistakes, I see a child who has been scolded or treated badly for doing something wrong. When I see someone unable to ask for something they immensely need, I see a child who deep down always felt that he or she does not belong to anyone. In simple words, nobody is there to look after them when they fall.
A child is a highly sensitive being, ironically we humans are sensitive but it is destroyed as soon as we lose our innocence. A child holds wonder in his eyes. A new approach to looking at things and their vulnerability are highly precious and rare. The more vulnerable a child is, the more chances of being harmed are present. Hence, the responsibility of a guardian is very significant during the childhood phase. They are like clay pots if you do not hold them with compassion they break down in pieces.
Why wonder is a rare gift observed in the eyes? Why innocence is so easily replaceable? Why being vulnerable and sensitive is weak?
The questions are uncountable as they come from all abused vulnerable children.
When you hit a baby or spill out some harsh words for the first time, he or she encounters something different. A Child comes in close contact with fear. If the patterns of the guardian are constant criticism and physical violence, fear keeps on ascending.
A Psychological experiment was done on how a child reacts to the guardian. Firstly the parent was asked to be cheerful with the child giving him full attention and love. Secondly to show a face of dismay and uninterested in the child.
The child was quite cheerful on the first attempt and on the second attempt something strange was noticed. The child started to do everything possible to get attention for all the things he did before which made the parent happy.
This small experiment has so much to say. Once you snatch attention from the child, the child does anything possible to get the attention.
The habit of people pleasing, self-doubt, constant self-sabotage and the habit of not being able to say NO says a lot about an individual.